yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
