thus making me awesome and them whores
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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