There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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