just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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