Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
