We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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