Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
