He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
