He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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