We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
