Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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