Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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