I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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