its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
