It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
