love makes seman taste better
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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