im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
