Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
cat food counts as protein by the way
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
