she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
