Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My vagina is officially offended.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
