Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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