I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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