Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
