Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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