dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
