I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We named our party play list daddy issues
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
