I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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