There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
