he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
