That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Come share oat with me in your robe
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
