We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize