You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
