I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
