just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
