So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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