whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
