i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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