I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
