Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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