Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
