Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You are a genius and a whore.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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