SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
