And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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