I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
