Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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