What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
