oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
