Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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