I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
