i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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